Kent, Essex and now Wiltshire

I appear to be standing in the middle of the stone circle at Avebury in Wiltshire. This genuinely is one of the most spiritually invigorating places that I know. This stone circle is so large that there's a village in its centre. It's bracing, but the sky is a very faint shade of blue and a watery sun is trying to break through the high level cloud. It's all rather special, but then Avebury always is. 

It feels strange to be here, alone. This is a place to share with more than passing strangers, a tree filled with crows and a hovering sparrow hawk. Nevertheless, I've decided to walk in a full circle around the tall earthen mound which surrounds the site. This place is built on chalk and all the pathways are gleaming white against the pale wintry grass.

I stopped for a while at the Cherhill White horse on my way here and peered up at it in awe. This whole area is steeped in mystery. If only we had the ability to tap into the energy that prehistoric people felt here, we might begin to get a sense of how they created such perfect circles or hauled such impossibly large stones across the countryside. 

I spent this afternoon in an RAF base somewhere near the beautiful village of Corsham. I was rehearsing with a group of friends who belong to the Royal Air Force Theatre Association and are putting on a production of Much Ado About Nothing. I'm helping them with a bit of music. 

The place is like a holiday camp, with chalet-style accommodation, one assumes, for short-term use by RAF personnel. There were a lot of children playing in the grounds, many of whom had rather haunted, melancholy faces which appeared slightly old before their time. Perhaps this comes from a life of being dragged from base to base. 

The RAFTA group meet for a weekend once a month throughout the  year before staging a show in a small professional theatre somewhere like Oxford or Cambridge. Their shows are always of a very high standard and they must have an absolute ball coming together for their residential rehearsals at RAF bases. Some of them looked rather worse for wear this morning!  

Spring!

We're currently driving along the darkened, pot-hole-laden country lanes in North Essex. Has anyone else noticed quite how many pot holes there are on the roads at the moment? Is that due to the recession or a heavy winter? It's probably a mixture of both, although you'd think the councils would see the importance of fixing the problem as quickly as possible. They are, I'm told, responsible for any damage caused by their negligence in this regard. 

The last time we drove along this stretch of road, we came across a car with a puncture which had been caused by a pot hole. We helped the a poor couple to jack the car up in the freezing cold. Heaven knows how long they were there for...

Fortunately today's been much more spring-like and bright buttery sunshine cast an almost continuous yellow glow over countless patches of daffodils yawning themselves into the world. 

Michelle, Nathan and I started the afternoon at Anthony's house in Bromley, where an eclectic bunch of people were celebrating his birthday with an absolute riot of tea and cake. It was an eccentric crowd; a mixture of theatricals and Salvationists, which needed to be seen to be believed. I'd say that 80% of the men present were gay. Perhaps only 60% were acknowledging the fact, which felt a shame. 

The sun burned down on us through the conservatory window, and everyone was wearing Easter colours, which added to the joy of the occasion. Outside in the garden, three tame hens rolled and fluffed their feathers in a warm flower bed. 

We've just come third in the Thaxted tennis club's annual quiz; a somewhat bewildering experience which was presided over by a silver fox whose face seemed to get redder throughout the evening. The questions were all a little esoteric, which can be quite frustrating until you realise that everyone else is struggling just as much. We were staggered to have come third. 

We've just seen a deer - more specifically a stag - wandering along the side of the road. His eyes shone like stars in our car headlights and we could just make out his fine antlers against the night sky.  It was a hugely exciting end to the perfect day.

Gut instincts

I tried to phone the Post Office today. They've been regularly delivering next door's letters through our letter box. More Post Office hell came in the shape of their automated telephone system, which sent me looping through cyber space for a full five minutes. When I finally worked out which button to press for a real person, I ended up waiting on hold for 12 minutes, which was inexcusable, frankly. 

Still, the guy I ended up talking to was refreshingly un-belligerent and held his hands up, sympathising with my plight, which is about the best defuser for a situation. I ended up quite liking him, even though, by the time we'd finished talking, I'd gone into Muswell Hill, done some shopping and started to head home again. 

Today I made a start on the opening sequence for the White City film, (which really needs a name soon!) The opening is a curious fusion of Bach and something rather grungy and rock inspired. I've tried to keep it melodically simple, as people will be talking over the top of it, but I can already feel it heading to a very dynamic place, which might not be the best thing in the world. Who knows? The problem with being a composer is that you only ever have your instincts to go on.  As a result I reckon I place more on my gut than most, particularly when dealing with people. As I get older I give fewer and fewer people the benefit of the doubt. It tends to back fire. I met a woman once who used to get so stressed she'd bleed from the eyes. I thought she was insane but people told me to give her the benefit of the doubt. Never again! 

Calypso haze

I’m in a Calypso haze. I didn’t know such a thing existed until I started writing a Calypso. A Calypso haze, it transpires, is a sort of endless whirling sensation in the brain, caused by the repetitive bass-line which gives this particular type of music its essence. It’s not an un-enjoyable experience, but I hope it doesn’t last until it’s time to go to sleep. My brain can become a very active place when it smashes against a pillow. I once tried to learn chess, but every time I shut my eyes at the end of a day, I saw a checker-board stretching out in front of me. I wasn't designed to play chess. I have a reactive rather than proactive mind. I'm not sure I'm meant to write Calypsos either. I've never felt as white as I've been feeling all day today, although whenever I write pastiche, I end up feeling like a fraud.

We’re writing a round for our music quiz tonight. It’s very entertaining, although the whole thing is taking slightly longer than anticipated. Only another ten of these to go...

It’s been snowing all day. In fact there was a full on blizzard raging outside the sitting room window at one point this afternoon. I genuinely thought that yesterday was the last day of winter. What if the spring simply never comes?

I found this on You Tube today. I don’t know why I find it so beautiful. There’s something deeply hypnotic about it. It feels rather reminiscent of children’s books from the 1970s. Do have a look, and see it through to the end, because it’s also a very lovely piece of music. Dear old Debussy. I should listen to a great deal more of you...

 

Shivering

I seem to be watching a documentary about the Hillsborough Stadium disaster, which is a fairly upsetting experience. Thank God the recent enquiry got to the bottom of the grotesque police cover-up, although 23 years seems like an excusably long period of time for the people of Liverpool to have to wait for their closure. The Sun newspaper in my view needs to be posthumously taken out of circulation for publishing those hideous reports about the tragedy. 

I've been writing pretty solidly for twelve hours, so I think I'm probably owed a little rest. At about 3pm this afternoon, my friend Tina emailed to tell me that the Four Colours project was fully funded and that she'd donated the final fiver. I immediately checked my emails and found the confirmation from We Fund: "congratulations, your project has been fully funded." 

We're slowly getting there! All we need now is to raise £500 at the quiz, and we'll have enough money to pay for the reproduction of CDs, which means 100% of every sale can go straight to the Kaleidoscope

Trust. This is obviously very good news.

I don't know what else to write, really. I haven't spoken to anyone since Nathan left the house at noon and as a result I'm feeling a little jittery. I'm taking myself (and this blog entry) to the shops in the hope that a whiff of spring evening air will make me feel a little bit more human. 

*goes to shops*

The wind is up and everything feels a little autumnal out here. A few crocuses are bravely poking up from flower beds. They look a rather strange colour in the sickly halogen street lights. There are some daffodils by the A1. They seem to be shivering; daring each other to bloom. "I've heard it's not that bad once you're open" says one, "go on then," says the other, "I dare you..." "One more day in bed. I'll open up tomorrow. I promise!"

The man in the newsagent seemed to be staring at me. I initially thought it was because I most look like the living dead but then remembered that they treat everyone in their shop like potential thieves. Even the regulars. Anyway, I've bought a soggy tomato and some halloumi, so I reckon that makes it tea o'clock. Have fun tonight. 

Bumpy starts

April got off to a rather bumpy start today with both of my computers going wrong. I know! What are the odds? To cap it all, our Internet keeps going down, so even when my computers decide they ARE working (which they both do from time to time) the likelihood is that I'll get stuck in with something online, and end up cursing all over again! 

Because of all of this, I feel I've been moving painstakingly slowly through the day. I have sort of written two songs, but don't know if they're any good. Still, at least I'm moving forward...

The weather seems to be finally sorting itself out. The sun has shone constantly and the sky has been the most vibrant blue all day. We went out in the early afternoon to take some pictures of Nathan's latest knit-wear creations. It was cold, but the light was beautiful, and for the first time in some time I felt vaguely alive. 

We celebrated by going to the gym and I spent the evening working whilst Nathan went to one of his knitting groups. His designs are selling rather regularly these days, which makes me feel very proud. He's currently making a pair of socks inspired by an Argyle jumper. Incredible. 

Solar flares

I'm at Julie and Sam's house in Catford doing very little, really. Julie and I have been going over music for the recording sessions we've got coming up over the next month and we're catching up on general news.

I'm in slight denial about how much work I've got to do from now until the end of June. I always knew that the start of April would mark my getting onto a merry-go-round which could end up spinning so fast that I turn into a gibbering wreckage. Now that the ride's arrived, I guess I just have to take a deep breath and jump on! 

This evening we've had a lovely stir fry, a heap of éclairs (Juli'eclairs), copious cups of tea and two crumpets.  Nathan and Julie are knitting and we're sitting under blankets watching a terrible disaster movie about solar flares. What else is a bank holiday Monday for? 

What I really want is a plate of grilled halloumi, but you don't get many Greek shops in the South East of London. I should probably think about going to bed at some point as well. 

I woke up this morning to discover that someone had donated £200 to the Four Colours fund, which takes us to within £65 of our initial target. At first I thought it was an April Fool, but the money still seems to be there, which makes me very excited. 

Our second target is to raise £500 at our music quiz on April 27th, which feels a little optimistic based on the rather small numbers of people who have so far confirmed that they're coming, but I'm keeping my fingers firmly crossed. We'll have great fun whatever happens!