I'm in a coma at Julie's, sitting on a very comfortable sofa whilst staring at the telly after eating a plate of pasta and a Malteesers Bunny.
I've been to all sorts of hideous corners of London today; Homerton, Hackney and then the hell of New Cross.
I switched my phone on this morning to discover that I had a meeting with Penny way out East in an hour's time. I grabbed my computer, bundled myself onto the first bus I could find and staggered my way across North London. It's very hard to go from West to East in North London and it was about an hour and a half before I found myself at the utterly minging Homerton station, which is situated within a sea of concrete.
I met Penny on the edge of Victoria Park, which looked extraordinary, bedecked in a carpet of almost blinding shiny morning dew.
After our meeting, I found myself in Hackney Central, trying to get to Julie's; a journey which took me to all manner of disgusting places. I got off a train at New Cross and walked around in circles trying to find the way to Catford. At one point I got on a bus to Peckham, which I suddenly realised was the wrong direction. Ten minutes later I was back where I'd started, sighing audibly.
It took me the best part of two hours to get from Hackney to Catford. All this time I was talking to utter imbeciles from Orange who kept cutting me off and subjecting me to the absolute hell of their automated system... "press one if you give a shit, press two if you don't have a life..." I'm still not sure they understand I need a phone without a smashed screen!
350 years ago, Pepys had his first lesson in composition with John Birchensha. He doesn't say if it went well or not. He was too busy admiring his new picture album which was delivered in the afternoon.