Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Pasta bakes and BGT

I made a pasta bake tonight and we're binge-watching more episodes of Britain's Got Talent, including the one featuring our friend's extremely classy girlband, Zyrah Rose. As predicted, Simon was rude to them, describing their act as "caviar, when a lot of people want spaghetti bolognese." His theory was that they were too "untouchable" to win. That pretty much sums Simon Cowell up. Dive in. Make a fast buck with something which catches the zeitgeist. Bale out.

(At this point I feel obliged to mention that when Kate Bush was signed to EMI, they sent her away for a year to learn mime skills and hone her creativity. In those days, record companies wanted artists to be in the business for the long-haul. Would you describe Kate Bush as "untouchable"? Absolutely! That's one of the reasons she's so mystical and special.)

I'd also like to pour scorn on the fact that all of these boy bands, girl groups and family acts on Britain's Got Talent have so many layered-up backing vocalists on their tracks that they might as well be miming. It would be great to hear what the singers actually sound like without all of these sonic bells and whistles. Yet more artifice!

Here's a question for you all. How do you spell the thing Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen does to rooms and cushions? Zjush? Zhush? As in "let's sjush this place up a bit..." This question has, for some time, had me stumped. Every time I find myself saying it (and, let's face it, my sexuality dictates that I use the word a lot) I find myself wondering how on earth I'd write it down...

There's a bloke who roams the streets of Highgate whom we've nicknamed "Fingers." He's one of those local characters that the place wouldn't be the same without, but he doesn't half freak me out! He's a fairly old chap and he walks around with his socks tucked into his trousers in a sort of "I'm a rambler" kind of a way. He carries a little bag with him into which he puts anything interesting that he finds in the bins that he rifles through. And boy can that man rifle through bins. He uses his bony little fingers to very carefully untie bin-liners, or make small, somewhat surgical holes in the polythene. It's genuinely a most disconcerting thing to stumble upon someone so brazenly going through the things you threw away the day before! It makes me somewhat self-conscious.

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