Thursday, 5 June 2014

Three meals

Finally a bit of sunshine to warm us all up and make our worries fade away. The sunshine has also brought the nutters out onto the streets. On my way from the bus stop to the gym I encountered all sorts of odd balls. One woman with facial hair was sitting in her front garden,  fanning her lady bits and swearing at anyone who walked past. It takes all sorts, I suppose.

I did 40 lengths in the swimming pool. There's a buzz you get after a big swim which is quite moorish. There was a woman in the pool who rather put me to shame, however. When she arrived my heart sank. She had all the physical attributes of an incredibly slow swimmer. She looked like a toffee apple on a stick; a great big round top half, and tiny spindly legs. She also looked like one of those women swimmers who don't like to get their hair wet, so bob about on the surface causing huge queues of swimmers behind them. Imagine my surprise therefore when she steamed past me doing the front crawl. I've never felt so emasculated, or proved so entirely wrong!

I notice Alexandra Burke is going into The Body Guard as the Witney Houston character. On paper she's a great choice; oodles of personality, and, as Louis Walsh puts it, a fabulous recording voice. But here's the problem: I'm pretty sure Ms Burke has vocal problems. I can certainly almost guarantee she hasn't got eight shows a week of top-belt whinging in her. I'd like her to prove me wrong, but I have an enormous problem with reality stars thinking they can "do" West End shows. It's the reason I scream at the telly when Cowell tells people with theatrical voices and questionable tuning that they should be in the West End. No! In order to be in the West End, you need razor sharp pitching and brilliant vocal health.

This evening I met Jem, Ian and a plethora of other delightful people for a meal which took in three different restaurants. We had starters in Wagamama's, main courses at Bill's in Covent Garden, and after dinner cocktails at Balans in Soho. We were joined for the evening by the wonderful Richard le Cocq (or Double Dick as we love to call him), a charming yoga teacher called Warren and Julia Zemiro, Australia's top Eurovision expert! It truly was a wonderful evening. Just the right length. Just the right crowd. Perfect.

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