Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Laughing Stock

We slept for eleven hours straight last night. Really heavy sleep. The sleep of the dead. I woke up in the night and felt like I was hallucinating. There was a very funny moment on the coach yesterday night when I was talking to Emma Barry. I asked her a question, which I was genuinely interested in, but I promptly fell asleep whilst she gave me the answer. I think the silence that followed must have woken me up again, and I managed to blurt out the word "yes" before waking up enough to continue with the conversation.

I spoke to my Mum today who told me that my Dad has been really depressed about the referendum results. He's not the only one. I was astounded to hear that there had been a considerable spike in hate crimes in the UK following the referendum which includes vandalism and a string of despicable letters aimed at the Polish community. Part of me thinks this nonsense would be more understandable if the Brexit campaign had lost, but to my mind it just goes to show how Twatty Johnson and Titty Farage have legitimised xenophobia in this country. It's also now very clear that they told half-truths and full on-lies during their campaign. They're even saying now that they don't think immigration is much of a problem. We're told that Boris didn't think for a moment that he'd win. He simply thought he'd give the "stay" campaign a run for their money then tell Cameron that his position was untenable. I feel like 51% of voters were stupid enough to fall for a little practical joke run by a set of Eton school boys. And more fool them. When the pensions start getting slashed due to austerity measures, they'll only have themselves to blame. When areas of Wales and Cornwall lose millions of pounds of investment, they'll only have themselves to blame.

...But then again we're all blaming everyone else at the moment, aren't we? And punishment always follows blame. The Europeans will punish us. We have lost all power to negotiate a decent exit. The Westminster politicians blame each other. I genuinely think that lily-livered bunch of time-wasters would actually rather punish Pudgy-faced Gove and Wig-head Johnson for their naughty prank by allowing us to exit Europe than step up to the mark and fight to have us stay in. We need them now more than ever. If they fail us, the country might genuinely enter a phase of anarchy.

Jeremy Corbyn's position looks utterly perilous. There seem to have been more resignations from the Shadow Cabinet than there are places in the shadow cabinet. I'm wondering if there have actually been examples of people being offered posts who have immediately resigned. It's like a revolving door of people wearing red ties. I like Corbyn enormously, and agree with him on most of his policies, but he appears to be too weak to be a leader. He should have been all over the Tories during their recent crisis, and should have been fighting to prevent traditional Labour folk from voting to leave Europe by acknowledging that some people are frightened of immigration. He did neither. Frankly, he just needed to make the right noises. If the people who go on about immigration are too stupid to know when a bunch of Posh Twats are pulling a fast one on them, they'd certainly not notice a Labour leader standing with his fingers crossed behind his back saying, "oh yes. Immigration. Big problem..." For the record, European immigration is not a big problem. Some people are just racist. How many Brexit voters does it take to change a light bulb? It doesn't matter, there's been another power cut.

So, we took ourselves off to Thaxted to cheer the parents up and watch the Great British Sewing Bee. We spent some time trying to work out if the Queen's Coronation Oath was at loggerheads with what was happening in Europe. If it is the Queen's duty to protect the Union, she would have to block any attempt to invoke Article 50 because it would almost certainly lead to the disintegration of the Union. I'd love to see the Brexiteers trying to get their heads around that. They could start sending the Queen hate male. After all, they're tired of being ruled by unelected Europeans. Not including the Queen? Fair enough... She's more of an immigrant than most of us!

So apparently we lost to Iceland in the football this evening? We're such a great nation aren't we? So proud. So strong. If we thought we were a laughing stick in the world this morning, we're like a terrible farce this evening. Oh well, we better get some world-renowned British scientists and literary figures to make us seem relevant again. What do you mean they've left the country? Human capital flight? I'll see you in Scotland.


  1. Nasty vitriolic post. Not changed a bit Ben.

  2. I assume it was my vitriol which held a gun to your head and forced you to read my blog?