Spam off!

Am I the only one to have noticed a recent and rather worrying upturn in the number of spam emails in my inbox? In the last day, I've been offered viagra, kamagra, $500k from a lovely Christian in Nigeria with terminal cancer, jewellery from the Czech republic, a "gay loan," a short course in classical music, a great rate on home insurance by someone called Gaylord, an affordable walk-in bath, a "Keranique" free trial (for male paten baldness) and an "unexpected perk," which I initially read as an "unexpected perm," which would have been much more exciting - and probably more unexpected! 

But where's this shit suddenly coming from? Which fucker initially sold my email address to a Chinese industrialist or a Russian cyber geek? And more crucially, what can I do about the situation? I'm getting so much spam that I've started deleting legitimate emails because my eyes go all skewy every morning with all the rubbish that's sent when I'm asleep. 

But spam sending must work, mustn't it, or these freaks wouldn't send this random crap. There must be people, God knows who, who fall for the scams, and open up the attachments to see the time share holiday they've won or the  lovely pictures of Justin Timberlake naked.  We only have ourselves to blame. 

The spam email which makes my blood boil is the one which offers a "degree" for no work and a hell of a lot of money. I  got my degree the hard way. Of course these things come from the US where pretty much everything is for sale! 

I once met a woman who taught a choir once a week at an American university over here. She was able to call herself a professor because, apparently, any member of "teaching staff" in an American university gets to call themselves a professor - even in the UK, or so she said! My mate Migs, who has a doctorate and is head of music at City University STILL can't call himself professor. 

How does that work?

Am I the only one who worries that nothing is real anymore? One day soon, when everything I value has gone virtual or entirely evaporated, when everyone's forgotten how to write and speak, I'm going to wake up in a cave, and tell Nathan that I had a crazy dream which seemed to last a life time!