Pee Hitting a Bowl

Today couldn't have been a great deal more frustrating and stressful if it tried. At about 4pm I finally reached the end of my tether with Brass formatting. I'd spent the day making scores of ridiculous, yet utterly time-consuming mistakes, and then the computer decided it had had enough and went on a mega "go slow." At various stages during the afternoon I found myself laughing hysterically, banging the table and shaking uncontrollably. I even found myself YouTubing clips of awful choirs just to take my mind off the hell I'd stumbled into. It turns out there's basically a limit to the amount of time a fella can work on something so pernickety under time constraints of this nature without loosing it altogether. Almost everything I did today was unproductive as a result.

I guess you have to put that down to emotional and physical exhaustion and, I guess, just one of those days. I think there will be a few more days like this before I'm done, so it's time to batten down those hatches and stop whinging! The alternative is no work, which I've experienced this year and is to be avoided at all costs!

By the way, who decided to put a new emoticon button on the keyboard for the iPhone? For those who haven't yet come across this grotesque phenomenon; these days, right between the "press here for numbers" button and the space bar, there's a button with a smiley face on it. It's not just any smiley face. It's a big round blob with a mouth like something unspeakable. If pressed by mistake by a man with gigantic trowel-like fingers (i.e. me... all the time), the screen fills with lots of pretty colourful pictures which apparently allow a writer, who has no real words, to express his inner feelings. There are pink bows, red broken hearts, silly little pumpkins (heaven knows what that's to express) and they're really bloody irritating...

To make matters worse, there's also a button which the kids of today use when they're too lazy even to use an emoticon. This one allows them to leave a pithy little spoken message. Press the button, speak, and the text is sent. It is a catastrophic button if, like me, you're a man who often sends a quick text whilst peeing. Fortunately Nathan is the only person who has actually received a sonic message featuring the comical sound of wee hitting a toilet bowl, but to any of my mates who receive something similar in the future, all I can do is apologise... profusely.