Today I put a pair of shorts on for the first time this summer. I'm not really a shorts kind of man. In fact, I realised with horror when I saw a photograph of me standing in the Avebury crop circle, that I was doing so in a linen suit! I was like someone's uncle in a Merchant Ivory film!
Any way, I put my mobile phone in the pocket of the shorts for safe keeping whilst I was at the gym, and it was only when I removed it that I realised the pockets were full of sand from The Dominican Republic. Cue a rush of happy, sun-drenched memories of surfing the gentle waves, swimming in blue pools and watching glorious sun sets. It's hard to believe we were ever there, really. I think our wedding rather eclipsed everything that happened any time around it, and it's only now that I'm probably coming back down to earth enough to give myself time to reflect on the year so far, which has undoubtedly been the most interesting of my life. If this is what being 40 is like, then bring it on!
I actually watched the vows from our wedding on 4OD this morning. I felt a bit tragic doing so on my own, but I'd woken up feeling a little listless and lonely with the music buzzing around in my head, so put them on. Because I spooled through to the 3rd part, I had to sit through an accumulation of six minutes of adverts, which was slightly annoying, but gave me time for a bath.
Watching the opulence of the wedding in our grotty kitchen was utterly surreal. I felt like I was seeing a play: one I'm not even sure I remember acting in! I don't remember feeling as fat as I looked, however, and am most relieved to have subsequently lost some of the weight which made me look like melted butter. Just call me the Oprah Winfrey of gay marriage!
After the gym I went into Kentish Town to buy some buttons, (yes, I say, buttons, I say, from a little haberdashers to mend my suit with...) In the princess I passed the building which I'd watched go up in flames the day before. To my surprise the Kebab shop was open and looking as grottily pristine as it always has. I can only think, therefore, that the fire was on the flat roof above the shop somehow. Perhaps someone had thrown a mattress there and tried to set fire to it rather than put it out on the street. The whole thing has very much made me doubt my sanity! Surely I've not developed a condition where I see fires I should have asked in the shop, but that seemed a little ghoulish...