Sad

I woke up this morning feeling sad. I continue to think about Lisa and Mark; wondering how long it's going to take them to get over the pain of losing a child. I feel angry that it has happened to them. Lisa is, without question, one of the best Mums I know. Her daughter deserves a brother and she deserves a son. Sometime I find life very difficult to fathom.

Nathan is in Scotland today. He's banging drums somewhere near Loch Lomond. He's driven all the way up today, and will come back down tomorrow. I'd have been tempted to hang around a bit; maybe visit the Lake District on the way back down, but Nathan is someone who likes to put his foot down and get somewhere as quickly as he can.

I'm suffering somewhat from post-show blues. It's a tough gig to stand on a stage whilst 250 people give you a standing ovation, knowing that you're unemployed from the moment you get back to London. With any luck something will crop up before I'm forced to apply for a job at Starbucks, but despite my having about 400 pokers in as many fires, there doesn't seem to be anything definite to move onto. The Scots have now officially said no to the symphony idea, which isn't at all surprising. They're citing all sorts of reasons, but I think it's pretty clear they just don't like the idea of doing anything with the English, hence their well-documented desire to treat the London Olympics as a dress rehearsal for their precious Commonwealth Games. I can almost guarantee that a Symphony for Scotland will miraculously appear in 2014!

I am becoming worried by the cuts. A whole set of them are currently being implemented in the BBC Regions and I can't think that television musicals are going to be top of the agenda of things to save, when countless jobs are on the line!

It's very interesting to be part of my generation. We're the generation behind the people who made a killing out of the property Market in the early 90s and a generation ahead of the people who are entering the job Market with realistic expectations. We're becoming experts in our fields just at the point where no one can afford experts any more! I think about this very often for some reason.

I spent the afternoon with Philippa and Deia. We coloured in pictures of Alice in Wonderland. Philippa has just got back from a spiritual retreat with her friend, Moira. They returned to London feeling spiritually renewed; a status which was absolutely destroyed by Moira's daughter pointing at a statue of Buddah and asking; "is that Lady Gaga?!"

Nice hat... Deia wriggled out of this picture...

350 years ago, and Pepys was rushing round like a blue-arsed fly sorting out the paperwork which allowed various boats to be decked out and sent off the the East Indies for "some design against the Dutch." At the end of a busy day, Pepys returned home, but the house was so dirty, he didn't have any other choice than to go to bed!

Deia and Philippa at Rupert and Hilary's Bar in Broadway Market