Big Issue

We've just been to see Ghost. Our friend Mark is in the show and got us wonderful seats in the stalls for a very reasonable rate. 

It's a great show and I think it's a shame that it's closing. Who can fail, really, to be moved by a show about love and loss? It reminded me of my Auntie Gill whom I seem to recall was greatly moved by the film when it first came out, just after she'd lost her husband. 

The projections and illusions in the piece are extraordinary; people appear and disappear in clouds of white smoke. Whole cityscapes drift across the stage...

We dropped Cindy off at Heathrow this morning and returned to the house to do some serious spring cleaning. I focused on the kitchen, stuck my iPod speakers on loud and cleaned the place from top to bottom. It was deeply therapeutic. 

That's about all there is to say. I was horrified to discover that we didn't sell any more copies of the CD today. I'm not sure what else I can do. A lot of people suggested sites like Pledge Music when I was initially trying to fundraise. These are the sites where creative people offer to do private concerts for fans and give signed posters etc in return for money up front. I've always found that sort of thing deeply embarrassing. I don't really have fans. What I did, however, think, was that it would be relatively easy to push a few CDs around some of my friends... Sadly, I'm already feeling like a beggar and I hate it. I hate the fact that I feel resentful towards people who say they'll buy a CD simply to get me off their backs ...and then don't. I also hate the fact that I am striking up conversations with Facebook "friends" I've not spoken to for years, simply to try to get them to listen to the excerpts of the work on the website. I feel like a nuisance, but what else can I do without a PR person or marketing team? There's obviously a tipping point when a work starts to sell itself by word of mouth, but I don't know how to get it to that stage. The one thing which I feel justified to be irritated about is people who ask for a copy of the CD for nothing! 

Earlier on, one of my close friends tore a strip off me, telling me that her other friends who make albums never try to push them on her. It was like a dagger in the heart. I felt like a Big Issue salesman. It's astonishing that, just 24 hours after a massive success, I can end up feeling so shitty! Post show come down, I guess.