I think I’m going slightly mad today. It might be something to do with the weather. Day after day of rain can get so miserable. I woke up this morning and the day seemed to be promising so much; a powder blue sky, a watery sun. I walked into Muswell Hill and the trees in the woods looked like they were dripping with gold. And then, the rain... And now I smell like a wet dog again.
Today has been about admin. So much admin. I had to print out all the orchestral parts for the 100 Faces project, then take the score to the printers to be bound. Nathan and I sat for hours putting various Requiem films up on Facebook and then had to go through the ridiculously complicated process of putting the CD up for sale on Amazon. By the time we'd finally got the thing up and running, I felt like I'd been run over by the admin truck. I tell you something, this promotion game is lonely and upsetting, and it doesn’t suit me at all. It’s so easy to take things really personally, get really offended at friends who still haven’t bought a copy, or angry at people who promised to buy one... probably just to get me off their backs. The best way is always honesty. I wish people would simply say they weren't interested, or that they simply can't afford a copy.
It’s made me incredibly aware of how often I’ve ignored other people getting in touch to promote themselves or sell their wares. You have this precious thing which has been with you for months, sometimes years, which has obsessed every fibre of your being, and it becomes almost inconceivable that anyone would simply ignore you. The only equivalent I can think of is a bride getting married. You plan something for a year. You look forward to the big day; the day you get to show yourself to everyone, show how beautiful and happy you are... and then people either don’t respond to your wedding invitation, or say they’re going to come and then not turn up. The only difference is that it only costs £8 on iTunes to come to my wedding, and you don’t have to travel to Scotland on New Year’s Eve to attend! A friend of mine suggested, on this note, that friends might only understand the personal significance of my Requiem if I added a gift list from John Lewis to all my Facebook posts!
I am seriously worried about Hurricane Sandy in New York. A number of my friends over there say they’re really very frightened. I don't know if it's media hype, but Cindy says the streets are empty and all the shops and restaurants are closed. She sent me a photograph of Bleecker Street, which was deserted but for a couple of cars and a fallen tree. And this was a few hours ago. The storm will only officially start in the middle of our night tonight. We might wake up tomorrow morning to find New York under several feet of water. I sincerely hope not.