Thursday 6 March 2014

Why I'm getting married in a musical

So it would appear that the cat is out of the bag. The press are now, if not buzzing, gently vibrating with the news. What you may have read is probably true. Nathan and I are getting married in a musical film which is being screened on Channel 4. We're being very clear about the purpose of the film. This isn't a musical about our wedding, this is a musical celebration about the historical importance of March 29th; the first day gay men can legally marry in England and Wales.

Whilst we cheer, sing, dance and pat ourselves on our enlightened shoulders, it should never be forgotten that gay marriage is legal in considerably fewer than 20 countries across the world and that being gay - just BEING gay - is still completely illegal in 80 or more. This statistic ought to put things in perspective.

There are a number of misunderstandings about the gay marriage in the UK. Firstly, and for another few months, gay marriage remains illegal in Scotland. Secondly, there are no moves in Northern Ireland to change the law which currently prevents LGBT from getting married. Thirdly, because since the 2005 introduction of UK civil partnerships LGBT people have talked about "weddings," the majority of people in this country assume that gay marriage is already legal, and therefore that this new law means that gay men can now get married in British churches. They can't. Actually, as a point of fact, they can at the Swiss church in Covent Garden, but not in a Church of England church.

So what is new? Well, to put it simply, equality is new. Civil partnerships are not the same as marriage. Similar, but not quite the same and the same, but different is certainly not the same as equal. Straight people can't have civil partnerships, gay people can't get married. That's like saying it's okay to segregate black and white people; they both get to travel on buses, just not on the same ones!

So true legal equality is the victory we shall be celebrating in our wedding film. In the eyes of the law (though sadly not in the eyes of the church) LGBT people from England and Wales are now the same as everyone else.

It's the final piece in the jigsaw. At the same point utterly inconsequential and absolutely astonishing. The very last full stop in a series of battles for LGBT human rights which started God knows when and ends on March 29th.

That is why I am proud to be getting married on this day. And proud to be making a film about it.

But why a musical?

Well, readers of this blog will know that Nathan and I have 40 years combined experience in the professional worlds of music, film and theatre. As a composer, I use music to express my emotions. I pour emotion into the music I write and can think of no more perfect way to express my love and gratitude to Nathan than through song. Why on earth would I SAY vows when I can SING them? When I can accompany them with the chords and beats and suspensions which far more adequately express my love for a man who has been my rock for 12 years.

Nathan, as a musical theatre performer with a great respect and love for the art form, feels exactly the same way. Music has run through our relationship like the most perfect golden thread. I write a song. Nathan will be the first man to hear it. Nathan performs in a show or cabaret, and I will sit on the front row, engulfed and charmed by the beauty of his voice.

Of course it's a risk. Some people hate musicals and will think this is the most dreadful idea. But our lives have been typified by a series of calculated risks. We dare. Uncompromisingly. Some hate my work. Others think it's great. I suspect this will polarise people even more, but what can never be doubted is that it's coming from the right place, and that is a place of love. Genuine love for musical theatre. Genuine love for one another.

2 comments:

  1. Ben I am always quite spell bound when reading your blogs and inparticularly this one, it says so much than just the written word.
    Love you both and see you soon xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lovely! You make me want to cry. Love you both. Mummy xxx

    ReplyDelete

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